How do I dig up the way
by 0weallfalldown0
Summary: sequel to They never ask: When Ryan goes back to work, he tries his best to act like nothing has happened so he can keep his secrets save. At the same time, his colleagues try their best to make it clear to him that they are not happy with him, at all. But when someone finally asks, is Ryan really willing to share his secrets?
1. Don't do anything too hasty

**Hello everyone and welcome to my second story! I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this story. I have a general idea, just not all the details yet. So any suggestions are welcome, although I can't promise they will end up in the story, because they might just won't fit in.**

 **Summary: When Ryan goes back to work, he tries his best to act like nothing has happened so he can keep his secrets save. At the same time, his colleagues try their best to make it clear to him that they are not happy with him, at all. But when someone finally asks, is Ryan really willing to share his secrets?**

 **Important!** **Please note that this story is a sequel to my previous story, They never ask. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend you to read that story first. Besides that, I will mention it again, note that English is not my first language. If you can't handle all my (probably) terrible grammar mistakes, don't read this! However, you are always welcome to point out my mistakes, so I can do something about it and learn from it! :)**

 **Enjoy!**

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When Ryan arrived at the crime scene that morning, there seemed nothing wrong. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the people just went on with their lives. Except for the deceased man in the middle of the street. His life was cruelly stopped. And within the hour, so would be the lives of his family, because they would then get the phone call, that was everybody's nightmare.

The man had three bullet holes in his chest, just like the last few victims, for the last few weeks.

Ryan grimaced, the bile crept up in his esophagus and was now burning in his throat. Maybe it hadn't be a good idea to start working so soon after the surgery, Ryan thought to himself. But he couldn't go back now.

'Hi sweetie,' Alex said. She frowned. 'You look horrible. Are you okay? You look very pale.'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' Ryan lied. 'What do you have here, Alexx?'

'Meet Jason park. 38. COD most likely those three bullet holes in his chest. TOD around midnight, but I can tell you more after the autopsy, this afternoon.'

'All right, Thank you Alexx.'

'Are you sure you are feeling okay?' Alexx asked worried.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.' Ryan walked towards Calleigh reluctantly.

'Ah, look who we have here,' Calleigh said. 'Mr. The-world-turns-around-me.'

Ryan decided to ignore that remark. 'So, what can I do for you?'

'You can start over there,' Calleigh pointed. There are some tire tracks that still need to be processed. And the further you are away from me, the better.'

'Fine, whatever.' Ryan walked towards the appointed place.

'And don't give me an attitude like that!' Calleigh yelled after him.

Ryan sighed. This was going to be a long day. He could just go and tell Calleigh why he wasn't there yesterday. But she didn't really bothered to ask. And Ryan actually didn't want to tell her anyway. Especially not after how she had treated him the last couple of days. So, Ryan decided to focus on his work and stayed away from his colleagues as much as possible.

After all the evidence was collected, Ryan and Calleigh drove, in different cars, towards the crime lab. To process all the evidence.

When he arrived Ryan walked into the man he had hoped not to see today.

'Ah, Mr. Wolfe, just the man I needed,' Horatio said.

'H, I… I… I'm sorry,' Ryan stammered.

'I expect to see you in my office, at the end of your workday, Mr. Wolfe. We will speak about it then. And I sure do hope you have a damn good explanation for all this.'

Ryan nodded and walked on. He locked himself with the evidence and went to work. Ryan didn't take a break, so he could process as much evidence as possible and he wouldn't walk into his colleagues. But nevertheless the processing didn't go very quick. Standing a whole day after a surgery was harder than Ryan had expected. The pain in his stomach was getting worse and worse so Ryan decided to take the chance and walk to his locker, where he kept some painkillers.

Ryan crept down the hallway towards the locker room and saw no colleagues to his delight. But his joy was short-lived when he saw Eric standing in the locker room. Ryan walked to his own locker without saying anything and hoping Eric would neither. But apparently Eric thought different about that. Because when Ryan had take his pain killers and slammed his locker shut, Eric stood close behind him. It startled Ryan.

'Hey Wolfe, bad conscience?' Eric asked.

Ryan ignored that remark and wanted to walk away, but Eric held him back.

'Oh no, you are not just walking away from this, Wolfe. You are going to explain to me why you called in sick yesterday. You owe us that much.'

'It is none of your business, Delko!' Ryan said fuming. While asking himself if their relationship really was that bad again.

'Oh, you bet it is my business! Because of you we had to work longer. Again!'

'Well, I'm sorry about that, Delko. But I can't change that anymore now, can I?'

'No, you can't indeed, Wolfe. You got that right. But you could at least act like you care!'

'By doing what, Delko? I've worked enough extra hours the last couple of days!

'You could resign!'

Ryan pushed Eric away. 'The hell I am. Forget it. You resign if you want to get rid of me!'

Eric pushed Ryan into the lockers. 'You wanna fight about it?' He asked fuming.

'Fine,' Ryan answered just as angry. And before he could control himself he had hit Eric in the face. But Eric responded quickly and used that same moment to hit Ryan in the stomach. Ryan screamed in pain and dropped down along the lockers. The world started spinning for a second and Ryan felt his head hit the cold ground. Eric had hit him right in the surgery wound and that really didn't help with his already painful stomach.

Eric snorted. 'Be a man, Wolfe,' he said. And then he walked away.

'DAMNIT!' Ryan yelled whilst kicking against the lockers. He needed a few minutes before the pain in his stomach subsided. Only then he dared to try to stand up again. He walked back to his evidence, groggily. While labrats were staring at him bewildered. He wanted to yell at them what they were looking at, but he just couldn't. He felt to weak. He thought to himself that he could better have stayed with his evidence, because the pain in his stomach had only increased since Eric had hit him. And then nobody would stare at him now. People were always staring at him, but they never came to him to ask if they could help, or what was wrong. Well, Eric had asked why he wasn't there yesterday, but it had been in an aggressive way. He hadn't been worried about Ryan, he just wanted him to resign. And off course this morning Alexx had asked, but he couldn't possibly tell her. She would've called an ambulance immediately and he definitely didn't want that!

When he finally arrived back at his evidence, Ryan did his best to concentrate on his work. But it was getting harder and harder, as his surgery wound started to throb more and more painfully. Ryan took a chair and sat down on it. He wondered how he could ever came through the rest of the day without making it look like he didn't do almost anything. He could off course go to Horatio and just tell him why he wasn't there yesterday and why he didn't feel good today. But he just couldn't, he just didn't dare. Ryan was scared that if he told him, Horatio would wanted to know why Ryan needed surgery. And that was something Ryan rather kept for himself. His colleagues had only met Rowan a few days ago and he didn't want them to know all his family secrets.

Ryan stared at his watch. It was almost 3 o'clock and that meant he had an appointment with Alexx in the morgue, so she could tell him more about the body from this morning. Ryan stood up and groaned when a stabbing pain shot through his stomach. The world started turning once more and Ryan grabbed for the table, but his hands missed. The pain got only worse and it became black in front of his eyes. He fell and for the second time this day, he felt his head hit the cold ground.

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 **Little cliffy, so you will keep coming back :P Please tell me what you think about this first chapter!**


	2. A ladder would be handy

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI: Miami nor any of its characters. I do own Rowan.**

 **Author's note: Thank you all for following and reviewing this story! Sorry that you had to wait a bit longer for an update, but well, I've been busy. This chapter is a bit longer though. Well, nothing more to say I think. Just enjoy!**

* * *

Natalia Boa Vista was watching Alexx while she was extracting the third bullet from the victims chest. She grimaced when the bone the bullet was in creaked. Alexx put the bullet in a sachet and gave it to Natalia.

'Well, that were all the three bullets. I'm sorry honey, but I can't tell you any more other than I already told you. No trace on the victim. He must have been shot from a long distance.'

'Thanks anyway, Alexx. I'll let Calleigh find out if the bullets match the bullets from the previous victims.'

'About that,' Alexx said. 'Calleigh and Ryan had a victim with the same MO this morning. But Ryan still hasn't showed up for my findings. Have you seen him?'

Natalia shook her head. 'No, I haven't. But Valera told me he had locked himself up with all his evidence. So he could avoid us as much as possible. He hasn't even eaten anything, I think.'

'Oh, my poor baby. Why does he have to make it so difficult for himself?'

'I don't know Alexx, but I think there is a lot more going on than he is willing to admit to us.'

Alexx nodded. 'I'm worried about him. As long as he is not gambling again.'

'Me too,' Natalia admitted. 'I will look for him when I get back to the lab. And if I find him I will send him over to you.'

'Please do.'

'No problem. Thank you Alexx.'

'Thank you too, honey.'

...

Natalia walked back to the lab to find Ryan, but she couldn't find him anywhere.

'Hey Valera, where did you say Ryan locked himself up?' Natalia asked the labrat.

Valera pointed. 'Just on the opposite of the hallway. But I haven't seen him for awhile now.'

Natalia looked through the glass windows into the room Valera had pointed at. But she didn't see Ryan.

Eric bumped into her. 'Hey Natalia, I'm sorry I didn't watch were I was going.'

'that's okay Eric. Have you seen Ryan today by any chance?'

'Eh… well not anymore since an hour ago. When he was acting like a little child in the locker room.'

Natalia walked to the locker room, but Ryan wasn't there as well. Maybe she had just missed him, when he was going to the morgue, Natalia thought. But still something didn't seem right. Ryan was never late at appointments. His OCD took care of that.

Natalia decided she would walk around the lab one last time. And then she saw it. The mess on the table where Ryan had put his evidence on. That wasn't Ryan at all. His OCD could definitely not handle that.

Natalia stepped inside the room. 'Ryan?' But there was no answer. Natalia walked a bit further into the room and tripped over something. She grabbed the table to stay on her own two feet and looked back to see where see had almost tripped over.

A leg… 'RYAN!' Natalia yelled whilst running to him. 'Ryan?' Natalia squatted next to his head and shook his shoulder carefully. 'Ryan!'

Ryan moaned and grabbed his stomach unconsciously.

'Ryan? What's wrong?' Natalia looked at Ryan's stomach. 'Oh my God, you are bleeding!'

'Natalia, what is wrong? Why are you screaming?' Eric asked. He was standing in the doorway. 'Everyone can hear you.'

'Eric, go get Alexx!'

'W-what? Why?'

'Now Eric! Quickly!'

Eric saw the serious look on Natalia's face and ran towards the morgue.

'N-no,' Ryan moaned.

'Yes Ryan, you need help.'

'I'm fine, just stomachache.'

'You're not fine, Ryan! You are bleeding!'

Ryan looked to his stomach and saw the blood. 'Oh damnit.'

Natalia stroked Ryan's hair. 'You'll be all right, okay? Alexx is on her way.'

Ryan heard the uneasiness in Natalia's voice and took her hand in his. 'Don't worry Nat, it is not that bad.' He wanted to sit up, but at that exact moment Alexx walked into the room.

'Stay down, Ryan!' She said severely.

Ryan obeyed.

'What happened?' Alexx asked Natalia.

'I don't know. I found him like this. But he says he has stomachache and he is bleeding.'

'Let me see, sweetie,' Alexx said to Ryan.

Ryan pulled his shirt down. 'No.'

'Ryan please.' Alexx tried to pull Ryan's hands away from his shirt, but Ryan didn't let go.

'No! No, please don't!' Ryan yelled somewhat panicked.

'Come on, Wolfe. Do you really think you can win it from the three of us?' Eric said who had walked into the room after Alexx.

Natalia pulled Ryan's hands away and Alexx unbuttoned his shirt.

'NO!' Ryan screamed. But he was powerless. Ryan put his hands over his face so he couldn't see the shocked faces of his colleagues. But nevertheless he heard them grasp and knew it wasn't because of the surgery wound.

Natalia saw the old scars and burns on Ryan's bare chest and abdomen. She was shocked. She had just never expect this. All those scars… just like Rowan, maybe even more. She now understood why he wouldn't let go of his shirt and she felt a bit guilty for forcing him.

Alexx was the first to recover from the shock and started to look at the surgery wound. 'Did you just had surgery, sweetie?' She asked.

Ryan nodded, his hands still over his face.

'How come it started bleeding again?'

'I… I don't know,' Ryan murmured.

'Oh crap,' Eric said. 'You do know how it started, Ryan. I punched him there,' he admitted. 'I'm really sorry Ryan.'

'For what have you been in surgery?' Alexx asked Ryan.

'My kidney,' Ryan said softly

'You kidney? Is something wrong with your kidney?'

'No, no, Rowan needed a new kidney.'

'Who is Rowan?' Alexx asked.

'His brother,' Natalia whispered.

'So you gave a kidney to your brother, Ryan?'

Ryan nodded.

'When?'

'Yesterday,' Eric filled in. 'That's why you called in sick yesterday.'

Ryan nodded again.

'Yesterday?' Alexx said shocked. 'Ryan! That are major surgeries! You can't just go to work the next day!

'I'm fine,' Ryan murmured.

'No, you are not fine! You are not fine at all! I'm going to call an ambulance. You need to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. You could have an internal bleeding!'

'No! No ambulance!'

'Yes, Ryan. An ambulance.'

'Please don't Alexx. Don't do this to me. I don't want everyone to see me like this,' Ryan begged.

Eric walked towards Ryan and helped him up. 'I'll bring him, it is parially my fault anyway.' He walked towards the elevator whilst supporting Ryan. Closely followed by Alexx and Natalia.

Natalia saw all the labrats watching her friend and it made her angry. He didn't deserve this. 'What are you looking at? Go back to work, you prying vultures!' She called.

...

Eric helped Ryan into the backseat of his car. Alexx sat down beside him, whilst Eric and Natalia took place in the front of the car. Eric started the car and drove with high speed towards the hospital.

Natalia clung to her seat fearful. 'Eric, can you please slow down. Before you get us all killed?!'

'No Eric, go faster!' Alexx screamed from the back of the car.

Natalia looked back and was startled to see Ryan in the bad state he was in. He looked white as a sheet and his surgery wound had started bleeding again. Alexx put a pressure bandage around Ryan's abdomen, whilst Ryan's head was resting on her shoulder. His eyes were squeezed shut. He must be in a lot of pain, Natalia thought to herself.

Eric stopped his car in front of the entrance from the hospital and got out. He helped Ryan out of the car and into the hospital, whilst Natalia and Alexx parked his car. There was nothing more they could do now, except for waiting. And the waiting was long.

…

Natalia started to worry even more when they hadn't heard anything from Ryan an hour later. Why hadn't he just told them that he needed to have surgery, she thought to herself. Why did he always kept everything to himself.

Alexx saw Natalia's worried look and put an arm around her shoulders. 'He will be okay, honey,' she said.

'I just don't understand Alexx. Why didn't he just told us?'

'Me neither,' Eric agreed.

Alexx sighed. 'Maybe we just saw a glint of why he didn't tell us. Who knows what might have happened to him in his childhood. And maybe that is the reason why he just doesn't trust people.'

'What do you think that has happened to him, Alexx?' Natalia asked.

'I don't know. And we can't force him to tell us if he doesn't want to.'

A man walked into the waiting area towards Alexx, Eric and Natalia. 'Are you here for Mr. Wolfe?' He asked.

The trio nodded.

'He is asking for Natalia,' the man said.

'Me? Why is he asking for me?' Natalia asked surprised.

Alexx gave her a little push. 'Maybe he wants to tell you something.'

Natalia stood up and the man pointed her in the right direction.

Ryan laid down onto a stretcher with his eyes closed.

Natalia walked towards him quietly. She took a folding chair and sat down next to him.

Ryan smiled. 'You don't have to be so quiet Natalia. I'm awake.'

'How did you know it was me?' Natalia asked puzzled.

Ryan opened his eyes and Natalia stared into them for a while. She could easily drown in those beautiful eyes… _(who couldn't?;))_

'I recognized the way you walked,' Ryan answered.

Natalia stroked Ryan's hair. 'You gave me quite a scare, Ryan.'

'Don't worry, Natalia. It wasn't anything serious. I should just had more bed rest instead of going to work. My body wasn't capable of standing a whole day yet, so close after surgery. But I'm okay now.'

'Why didn't you just tell us, Ry?'

Ryan closed his eyes for a second. 'It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you, I just couldn't.' He sighed. 'I still can't. I don't know how to climb out of this deep hole of secrets. I know you saw the scars and you probably want to know where I got them. But I don't know where to start. It is just such a deep hole of secrets and I haven't shared them with anyone before.'

'With a ladder, Ryan.'

Ryan looked at Natalia puzzled. Failing to understand.

'With a ladder you could climb out of that hole of yours,' Natalia said. 'Let me be your ladder, Ryan.'

* * *

 **Aww, how romantic, a ladder. Well, that was chapter 2. Thank you for reading and please tell me what you thought of it. See you in chapter 3!**


	3. One way digging to freedom

**A/N:** **It took some time to update, but here it is. Chapter 3. I got a bit stuck with this chapter. So I really hope you like it!**

* * *

Ryan sighed. 'I just don't know where to start.'

'At the beginning,' Natalia said.

Ryan shut his eyes closed and fragments of his childhood surfaced. He tried to push them back. Back in the little cabinet in his mind, with a large padlock on it. But it didn't work. It was too late. Natalia had cracked the code.

Ryan opened his eyes. 'We grew up in a orphanage, you know. Rowan and me,' he said.

'Seriously? I didn't know that,' Natalia answered.

'Well, it aren't good memories, so only Alexx knows.'

That explained why Alexx and Ryan were very close, Natalia thought. Ryan really did see Alexx as a sort of mother.

'Why aren't it good memories?'

Ryan sighed again. 'I… I felt left to my own. Like no one understood me. I missed my parents and their safe, protective arms. In the orphanage weren't those safe, protective arms. Far from safe and protective.'

'What do you mean by that?' Natalia asked. But she was afraid she already knew the answer.

'They hated us… Or at least, they hated Rowan. They didn't know how to handle him. And Rowan didn't understand anything at all. He still thought our parents would come and get us. That it was only temporary. But they never came, so Rowan got aggressive. It was just his impotence. But those nuns in the orphanage, they just didn't see that, or they didn't want to see it. After all, there were a lot of other kids who wanted attention as well. So they punished him, they tried to beat it out of him. I was his brother, I had to protect him.'

'How?' Natalia asked breathlessly.

'You have probably heard stories about twins who switched places. To make each other's tests, for example.'

Natalia nodded.

'Well, exactly like that. I told Rowan to hide and I acted like I was Rowan. I don't think they ever knew, or they just didn't care.'

'Oh Ryan, that's horrible. Only because Rowan missed his parents.'

'That's why I had to protect him. I just couldn't face it anymore. After all, it was my fault we were there in the first place.'

Natalia took Ryan's hand and squeezed it. She looked into his big eyes, who often glimmered mischievous. But not now, now they looked said.

'What do you mean, Ry? Why is it your fault?'

'I… I just couldn't protect them. I was too late. I could have known, I could have prevented it. But I was afraid, I was so afraid,' Ryan murmured.

'Who is them?'

'IT'S MY FAULT! I SHOULD HAVE PROTECTED THEM!' Ryan yelled.

Natalia was shocked by Ryan's sudden outburst. He had screamed those last sentences, that wasn't like Ryan.

Natalia pulled Ryan up and pressed him against her. He wasn't crying, but clearly he was upset. And she felt the need to comfort him.

'Sst, sweetie, it's okay. It isn't your fault, you were only a child,' Natalia said. She still didn't know what Ryan had meant, but she noticed this wasn't the right moment to ask. He was finished talking and had rekindled enough bad memories for today.

'Rowan,' Ryan murmured in Natalia's shoulder. 'I need my brother.'

Alexx burst into the room, followed by Eric.

'Is everything alright?' She asked worried.

Ryan let go of Natalia startled and started to blush. 'Yeah, yeah, everything is alright,' he murmured.

'He just needs his brother,' Natalia said. She was blushing as well.

'We will go and get him,' Eric offered. 'Where can we find him?'

'Fifth floor, room 518,' Ryan answered. 'Thanks Eric.'

Eric nodded and wanted to walk away, but Alexx stopped him.

'Wait a minute, Eric. How do we recognize him?'

'He is alone in a room. And besides that, you will know he is my brother, when you see him. But please don't be too hard on him, he is mentally disabled.'

…

'Do you think I should have told him he is my twin brother?' Ryan asked when Alexx and Eric had left the room.

Natalia's heart made a little jump when she caught a little glimpse of Ryan's mischievous look. It was only for a few seconds, but it had been there.

'Alexx doesn't know?'

Ryan shook his head. 'She only knows I grew up in an orphanage, but I never told her about Rowan.'

Natalia smiled. 'Then it probably will be a shock for them! Why have you never told Alexx?'

Ryan's eyes became serious again. He closed his eyes for a second before answering. 'I've never told any of you, because I didn't want a situation like in the orphanage. I was just scared that you didn't understand him or made fun of him. And I didn't want him to get hurt, again. I'm sorry. I now know that those thoughts were based on nothing.

'Don't be sorry, Ryan. I do understand, after everything that happened with the two of you.'

'RYAN!'

Ryan and Natalia both looked up, startled, when the pitched voice yelled through the hallway.

'RYAN! Where is he? RYAN!'

'Rowan, go sit back in the wheelchair, would you please. The doctor said you weren't allowed to walk yet!' Eric called.

Natalia laughed. 'It looks like you are not the only one who needs his brother.'

Ryan laughed as well. 'And it looks like Eric can't handle him, who had thought that.'

Rowan burst into the room, followed by Eric and Alexx. Who were both panting.

Rowan ran towards Ryan and hugged him.

'Hey buddy,' Ryan said smiling.

'Ryan! I told you that you shouldn't go to work yet! Look what happened!'

'Sst, Rowan, calm down.' Ryan stroked Rowan's hair. 'I'm okay.'

'No, you are not okay! You wouldn't be here if you were okay! I had been right after all!'

'Yeah, yeah, you were right indeed. But go listen to Eric now and sit down in the wheelchair.'

'It's not that you listened to me!'

'Rowan, please.'

'NO!' Rowan yelled angry. But then he started sobbing.

Ryan hugged him tighter and stroked his brother's back.

'I was just so scared that something had happened to you,' Rowan sobbed into Ryan's shoulder.

'I know. I'm sorry, buddy.' Ryan looked up to face his colleagues.

'Seriously Wolfe, a twin brother,' Eric said. 'Couldn't you have warned us, we were shocked when we saw him!'

Ryan smiled sadly. 'I'm sorry I have never told you, but I just didn't know how.'

'It's okay, sweetie,' Alexx said. She walked towards him and gave him a kiss on his head. 'You have a sweet brother.'

'Thank you, Alexx,' Ryan murmured. He then switched his attention towards Eric.

´I´m sorry about your…´ Ryan pointed at his own cheek. ´That I hit you.´

'I'm sorry too Ryan. For being an asshole and all.'

Ryan noticed that Eric had called him by his first name. It made him smile. Maybe they could be friends after all. Someday.

Eric held out his hand and Ryan shook it. While he held his brother with his other arm.

'Even?' Eric asked.

'Even.'

* * *

 **Well, that was chapter three. I know, not that long, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Because I really got stuck there for awhile. What do you think? A chapter four? Or should this be the end already? Let me know!**


	4. Stepping Stones

**A/N: Yeeh, the last chapter. Well... nothing more to tell. Except from, read, enjoy and review!**

* * *

Ryan looked in the mirror for the fourth time in ten minutes, to comb his hair again. But that one lock of hair didn't want to stay in place. Ryan held his hands under the water from the tap and pushed the lock down impatiently. But in vain, the lock jumped back to where it was.

'Ryan! Ryan stop the compulsive combing of your hair and come help me with my tie, please!'

Ryan smiled. However nervous he was, Rowan made him always feel al little better. He put his comb back in its place and walked towards his brother.

It had been two weeks since the surgery and Rowan looked a lot better already. He stayed at Ryan's at the moment, so Ryan could look after him. Since he was not allowed to go back to work yet.

'Well, what do you think? Is it alright?'

Rowan nodded. 'Thanks Ry.

Ryan wanted to go back inside the bathroom, to comb his hair again, but Rowan grabbed his arm.

'Why are you acting all nervous Ry? Your hair is just fine and your colleagues are nice, aren't they?'

'Maybe you are right, Rowan. But I just don't want anything to go wrong.'

'Why would something go wrong? I am there and I will always have your back, just like you always had mine.'

That's true, Ryan thought. Horatio had called yesterday, to invite both Rowan and him for dinner with the whole team. Obviously everyone wanted to atone, like Eric and him had done two weeks ago.

'And you can always blame me. They won't see the difference now anyway.'

Ryan smiled and looked at his brother, his mirror. One an IQ above average, the other an IQ under average. One a lefty, the other a righty. Even their hair parted exactly on the other side. With the same lock that didn't want to stay into place. Ryan had given Rowan the same clothes as his deliberately, so they could confuse his colleagues. But he would never blame Rowan for his mistakes… Never again.

'I would never do that… never again. You know that, right?'

Ryan saw a flicker of hurt in Rowans eyes, but he regained his happiness and nodded.

Ryan pushed his guilt away and sighed. 'Let's go, otherwise we will be late.'

…

Ryan looked up the building where they were standing in front of.

'Oh God.'

'Come on Ry, or we really will be late. And you don't like being late,' Rowan said with a grin on his face.

'Is the restaurant really at the twelfth floor? Who comes up with something as idiotic as that?'

'Hey boys,' a familiar voice said.

'Hey Natalia,' Rowan answered happily.

Natalia looked at Rowan quizzically when Ryan didn't react to her but remained staring at the high building.

Rowan's grin grew. 'Ryan is afraid of heights.'

'Really? I didn't know that.'

'I thought you would have my back, Rowan,' Ryan grumbled.

'Sorry Ry,' Rowan said still with a wide grin on his face.

'I won't tell anyone, Ryan,' Natalia said. 'But let's go, you will survive.'

Ryan followed Natalia and Rowan reluctantly into the building and into the elevator, towards the twelfth floor. When he heard the ping, that gave the token the elevator arrived at it's destination, Ryan sighed deeply. He felt a hand at his back and stumbled out of the elevator. Natalia had given him a little push in the right direction.

'Goodevening, lady and gentlemen,' said a waitress a bit too enthusiastic. 'Welcome at restaurant "The View." Did you reserve?'

What a original name for a restaurant at the twelfth floor, Ryan thought sarcastically. Whilst hoping that they didn't have a table near the window.

'Yes, I think we have,' Natalia answered. 'For the name Caine.'

'Ah right, your friends have already arrived. You will see them when you walk further into the restaurant. Can I take your coats?'

Natalia, Rowan and Ryan gave their coats to the waitress and walked further into the restaurant.

Natalia rolled her eyes. 'Didn't you really have any other clothes to wear, boys?'

Both Rowan and Ryan grinned. But Ryan's grin faded quickly when he saw they really did have a table near the window.

'My boys!' Alexx called enthusiastically whilst first hugging Ryan and then Rowan. 'I really don't understand why you haven't told you have a brother earlier, Ryan. How can I not like him? He is such a sweetie.'

'Thank you, Alexx,' Rowan said smiling.

Alexx gave Rowan a kiss in his hair. 'I have a present for you, Rowan.'

'For me? Really for me?' Rowan asked surprised.

Alexx gave Rowan the present and he enthusiastically ripped the paper off of it, with a big smile on his face.

'Crayons! Thank you Alexx!'

'Oh, you are very welcome, sweetie,' Alexx said smiling. She turned her attention towards Ryan. 'And don't think I won't see the difference in the two of you! That is mother instinct, you know.'

Ryan laughed. At least Rowans night was already a success. A big bunch of blonde hair appeared in front of Ryan and the person who it belonged to hugged him.

'Hey Calleigh.'

'Hey Ryan. I am so glad to see you. I am so sorry for my behavior.'

'Don't worry about it Calleigh, you couldn't have known.'

'About that, you can always tell me everything. You don't have to be ashamed of anything. Don't forget that, all right?'

'Thank you, Calleigh.' Ryan let go of her and Eric came to him immediately. They shook each others hand.

'How are you feeling?'

'Much better, thanks for asking Eric. And how are you… and Calleigh?'

Eric gave Ryan a playful push. 'There is nothing going on, Wolfe.'

'Yeah, yeah, sure there isn't.' Ryan felt a big hand on his shoulder and his knees almost gave in.

'Hey little guy,' Tripp said. 'Glad to have you back.'

'Thanks Tripp.'

'May I have your attention!' Horatio called from their table. 'Because I have the most fantastic team I can wish for, and I want to have all the team members a bit longer, am I paying the bill this night!'

All team members cheered in approval.

Horatio smiled. 'Besides that I want to thank our youngest team member in particularly. Because he gets it done to be both the best brother and best employee in one day. But I do want to recommend him to not try that again. At least not in that way.'

Everyone laughed, including Ryan. Because of Horatio's light-hearted attitude he himself felt a little more relaxed.

'Well, let's go take a seat and eat!'

…

When they were eating a little later, Ryan started to tense up a little again. Rowan was enthusiastically telling Horatio a story about how Ryan and him fooled some people when they were younger. There wasn't something wrong with that, since Horatio was listening amused. But Rowan was eating with his hands and Ryan's OCD couldn't stand that.

'Rowan, please. Eat with your cutlery!' Ryan said a little irritated.

Rowan looked a little hurt. 'But I'm not good at that. I'm sorry Ry.'

'Leave him,' Eric said. 'He is a tough guy after all.'

'Let me help you, Rowan,' Calleigh said who sat next to Rowan. She laid his knife and fork correct in his hands. 'It should work like this.'

'Thank you, Calleigh,' Rowan said smiling, whilst trying to cut his meat. But because of his clumsiness he nudged his glass and the water fell on the table.

'Oh, Rowan,' Ryan said irritated.

'I'm sorry Ryan, I am really sorry. I'm sorry I'm not as neatly as you are,' Rowan said panicky.

'Not to worry, sweetie,' Calleigh said whilst dab the water of the table with a table napkin. 'See, nothing to worry about. Just a little more practice and you can do it.'

'Don't mind your brother, Rowan,' said Natalia. 'His OCD is just in overdrive when he is tense, isn't it, Ryan?'

'Yeah… yeah, I am sorry Rowan, it doesn't matter,' Ryan sighed.

Natalia, who sat next to Ryan, stroked his back. 'Don't worry Ryan,' she whispered. 'You don't have to be ashamed of him. Look around you. Don't you see how much everyone likes him? Even when he is a little different then "normal" people. It actually makes him kind of cute, don't you think?'

Ryan looked around him. Natalia was right. His colleagues were all laughing and talking with Rowan, not about Rowan. Whilst Rowan was enjoying the attention intensely.

Just like one big, happy family.

* * *

 **Aww finally a good ending. Sorry if you had hoped for a longer chapter, but well, I think the story was told.**

 **And yes, why it is Ryan's fault his parents died, remains a secret. Gives me a reason to write more, gives you a reason to come back and check my page I guess. Isn't that a win-win? Yeah, I thought so too.**

 **Well, I hoped you enjoyed en don't forget to review =D.**


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